If you want to write better then it’s always a good idea to do a little experiential research. Go out and really examine the subject that you’re trying to describe. I’ve been tempted, lately, to post an ad on craigslist that would read something like this:
I’m a voyeur – early thirties Korean lady in good shape. I’m looking for two gay men who I can watch while taking notes. I also reserve the right to smoke. I hate smoking, but it seems like the right thing to do while watching people. Send me an E-mail if this seems like something you’d be interested in.
I expect that someone will respond and we’ll meet up, have an adult conversation, and then they’ll lead me back to their apartment where they’ll begin to undress.
“WHOA, WHOA,” I’ll say. “What the fuck are you doing? I just said that I wanted to watch.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean just go about doing your business and I’ll watch,” I’d say while reclining on their couch. I imagine that at this point I’m lighting a cigarette and probably trying my best to stifle a cough. I’m not inhaling the smoke. It’s just sitting in my mouth.
“Tell him that you love him,” I’d say while poking the burning cherry of my cigarette at them.
“I, I, love you,” one would say to the other. Then one would pause and turn to me.
“This isn’t hot at all. This isn’t what I was expecting in the ad you posted – ”
“Now get off him and wash some goddamn dishes. This place is filthy. Go about your normal routine. Do some cleaning. Turn on the radio and turn to the local college radio. I want you to try to sing along to what’s playing.”
I imagine that, at this point, the two would be recoiling in terror.
“Now you! Go get the mail and complain about your job. Do it!”
At that point I think the two guys would probably get a little too creeped out and they’d kick me out for being a little too weird. I was just trying to get some source material. It’s too bad nobody “gets” me.